Tank Jones discusses the importance of making choices and his non-profit, Choices Educational Empowerment Inc.

This week’s Tankism is a special song collage I did with a band called, No Coast! Watch the video to learn about annihilating negative knowledge of yourself!

This week’s Tankism/P.A.D. Talk discusses a Mom who handled her child the correct way by being patient. Try to be more patient this week, and see what you can accomplish by doing so.

Tank shares a personal story and discusses how to forgive someone.

Tank talks about a P.A.M. he met at the grocery store yelling at her 3 year old.

Tank Jones talks about ATTITUDE and how the attitude we take into the beginning of our day, could very well be our preview of coming “attractions” throughout the day.

EVB LIVE NEWS COVERAGE OF THRIVE TIME CHALLENGE – CLICK HERE

Nooowwwwww… aside from allegations against Herman Cain (or Herman Munster) of inappropriate sexual advances, we now have allegations of a full blown affair. It’s like those late night infomercials, “But, wait there’s more!” Again, I still say alleged because we are a litigious society and nothing has been “proven” yet. As the old saying goes, though “where there’s smoke…” I think I am starting to see a few flames. Now, I am not into gossip. I only watch certain tv shows and none of them are “reality tv.” I also do my best to not “cast stones” as I am not in the position to judge anyone. I was planning this long, funny blog, full of satire… Then, I decided against it. I want to focus this blog on one topic: sexual harassment.

Let’s talk about sexual harassment. What is it? Do we all agree on what it is or not? Well, the legal definition of sexual harassment, according to Equal Rights Advocates is: “unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment.” That seems straightforward enough, right? So, why all the confusion about it? I mean, is it possible that some “harmless” comments in the mind of the commenter get “blown out of proportion” in the mind of the commentee? What about when language is “acceptable” for one person to say to “one person” but “that person” gets slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit for saying that same thing to another person? What if a person is perceived to be “thick skinned” but is actually quite sensitive? Is there a “gray area” in sexual harassment? What if an allegation is made public, but the person who allegedly sexually harassed had no idea that he had “sexually harassed?” Questions, questions, questions…

Let me just say for the record that I KNOW that sexual harassment is real and that it happens. I feel I have to make this statement, just in case someone misinterprets what I just typed out above. And, that leads me to my next point: if you feel as if someone is making “unwelcome verbal, visual or physical advances” toward you, wouldn’t it be fair to bring it to that person first just in case there was a misunderstanding? What if the language “that person” uses has been acceptable to him or her and no one has ever “checked them” on it (language)? Maybe they really see nothing wrong with their verbal, visual or physical conduct. Perhaps they need to be educated. “Hey, buddy maybe that language is acceptable to your group of friends but I don’t like it. Please, don’t use that with me.” Or something like that. Perhaps their values are different from your values. Perhaps… you get my point.

There should be a standard of common decency amongst us, but alas there is not. We are quite a diverse group of people! Moralistic values to some could be conformity mumbo jumbo to another. Sad, but true. So, being an educational speaker, I always look to educate first. I try to find some common ground and come to an understanding when possible. Now, if the person still is being a jerk, doesn’t respect your point of view and continues with unwelcome verbal, visual or physical advances toward you, even after you have told them you feel it to be unwelcome, then here are some suggestions of what you can do, according to equalrights.org:

Say “No” Clearly: Tell the person that his/her behavior offends you. Firmly refuse all invitations.If the harassment doesn’t end promptly, write a letter asking the harasser to stop and keep a copy.

Write Down What Happened: As soon as you experience the sexual harassment, start writing it down.Write down dates, places, times, and possible witnesses to what happened. If possible, ask your co-workers to write down what they saw or heard, especially if the same thing is happening to them.

Report the Harassment: Tell your supervisor, your human resources department or some other department or person within your organization who has the power to stop the harassment. If possible, tell them in writing. Keep a copy of any written complaint you make to your employer. Even if your harasser was your supervisor, you may need to show that you reported the harassment to your employer or give a good reason why you didn’t.

Start a Paper Trail: Report the sexual harassment to your employer in writing.Describe the problem and how you want it fixed. Keep copies of everything you send and receive from your employer.

Review your Personnel File: It is your right to see, request and receive copies of everything in your file that you have signed.

Use the Grievance Procedure at Work: Look in your employee manual/personnel policies and/or speak to a human resources officer. It is important to follow your employer’s procedures.

Involve your Union: If you belong to a union, you may want to file a formal sexual harassment complaint through the union and try to get a shop steward or other union official to help you work through the grievance process.

File a Discrimination Complaint with a Government Agency, (if necessary): You must first file a formal sexual harassment complaint with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and/or your state’s fair employment agency If you are a federal employee, follow federal guidelines on how to lodge a sexual harassment complaint. You can obtain these guidelines from the Federal Labor Relations Authority.

File a lawsuit, (if necessary): After you file a formal complaint with the EEOC or your state’s fair employment agency, you can also consider filing a lawsuit.You can sue for money damages, to get your job back, and you can also ask the court to make your employer change its practices to prevent future sexual harassment from occurring.

To all those men and women out there that have had to endure sexual harassment, my most humble apologies to you. It can be a cruel, vile thing that can wreak emotional havoc on you. I truly wish that we can live in a world where people respected the rights and freedoms of others and we learned to treat others how they would like to be treated. We would all be better off for it if we learned to think of others instead of just solely of ourselves. If you are being sexually harassed and have not come forward about it, I hope the above tips on what to do help you. Be blessed everyone!